Hunting and Gathering Perspectives part 3

(L) wrote:

Hey Joe!,Just read a bit of the blog - can't figure out how to subscribe? Maybe i need to spend some more time poking around? In any case, I figured I'd jump in the discussion, its very interesting to me because it's something that I'd struggled with a great deal, before and after I knew there was anyone else that gave a shit. Initially, my number one goal was to suck up all the skills I could and head the fuck out of this crazy culture, hopefully taking some other like-minded folk with me, and living in a community well as remotely as possible, with limited connection to anything outside... I eventually began to see the value in having the village be an open community type setting, with others coming and going... whatever the case, i wanted out, because I know who I am is somehow better, more pure, and more real when I'm with the earth and away from the insanity of our society. I really idolized this concept in my head, and dreamed it becoming reality.. even know some folks who headed out and did an experimental 30 day trip together.As time went on, and I traveled more and more, I began to see that it wasn't only the suburban neighborhood of my youth that was being overrun by concrete and garbage. Seeing dams choke rivers, disease wipe entire tree species, barbed wire cutting through some of the wildest places in our country.. and that was before I left the states. We have it good... our wealth allows us to export massive quantities of garbage, and rape and pillage resources from poorer worlds, so that we can keep dog parks in cities and have pretty places to go and take pictures. You made mention in your note how fucked up it is that in our culture, we've convinced ourselves that the "individual's need supersedes the need of the tribe", and I couldn't agree more. I realized that in a large part, this is what I was doing ... for me personally, I wanted to get the fuck out, and it wasn't that I wanted to exclude anyone, it's just that I wanted to live in this way and needed it to happen - for me. I was really happy to put the tribe's needs in front of my own, as long as the tribe had the same ideals, morals, etc that I had - as far as I was concerned, whoever saw it differently could rot in a proverbial hell.But, I realized, I don't need to worry about the people who understand the intrinsic connection humans have to the earth - shit is pretty fucking dire. And to live in an idealistic sense, submersed in only the earth's rhythms, without tainting it with new culture bullshit, is a beautiful picture, and incredibly important I believe... but I can't shake the sense that time is running out. I have so much to learn - so fucking much to learn - and there's nothing I'd like to do more than say, fuck it, whoever wants to come, come, I'm out... but when it comes down to it, what is closest to my heart is dying in a very real way and I have to do everything in my power to be as effective as is possible. Put aside my own needs and desires and try to help things on a way bigger scale. It's a struggle every damn day, to hold a place living close with the earth and be completely surrounded by a toxic culture... knowing that when push comes to shove, I dont HAVE to be here... i have the privilege to choose not to. But I can't think of anything more important to be doing right now. If I were to live in a "wild" community, even if I were to have it be an open learning place, an example for others - the only people that will give a shit will be people who are open minded and privileged enough to be able to come and visit, check out of their world for a period of time, and hopefully be inspired enough to make some very real changes in their life. But again, this isn't the percent of the population that I think needs help and inspiration the most. At schools such as Tracker School, where people head for just a week or more at a time.. you won't reach every person. There will be people who leave and get back to their world and don't incorporate shit, forget what's important to them. Others won't. You plant these seeds, and the more volume you can get out... the better. Daily interactions with people who haven't had the privilage of finding their connection to the earth... to whom the even idea of having a connection is completely out of their scope of reality, because they're poisoned into only seeing the 9-5, shutting down, spackling the gaps with television and pop culture, because their reality is too fucking sad to deal with....Anyway, shit sucks, and who wants to be a part of it? How do you know these skills and this life exists, and not go out and live it? It's not that I believe that people shouldn't go out and live them - on the contrary, I think it's one of the most important things to do.. for me, I need to find a way to live them in this world, this culture, because I couldn't feel okay leaving it to choke and die and take everything I love with it. I have to try to plant seeds, have hope, and do everything I can in my tiny and insignifigant life to make shit different. It's not to say that the life I choose is for everyone... just a personal choice that I'm living with and dealing with and learning from.
I hope this all makes sense, things that are closest to my heart really tend to lead to me going off into a passionate rant that doesn't always follow the lines of logic. I also hope it doesn't sound too self righteous, because that's not where its coming from either... rather, it's me trying to put into words the turmoil i feel all the time. its a constant struggle in my mind, and it is really hard to deal with , to be impervious to new culture ideas and thought patterns while being surrounded by them. Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts.. I think it's a growth process for all of us, and having others to talk to helps facilitate that :) (L)-

Destroying Angel to (L):
(L) - thanks very much for your thoughtful input. I can't express how wonderful it is to be finally getting some feedback, whether or not people agree with me is beside the point. I honor you for doing what you feel needs to be done for the greater good. You've put your selfish desires aside and are suffering for the liberation of others, and that is commendable. Somewhere in me I can't help thinking, or at least hoping, that the creator and I have conspired before my birth to give me the outlandish dreams that I have and, further, that the pursuit of those dreams is the very best thing that I can do for my people. It might seem like selfish escapism, but if my dream of dreams is to live primitively and start a free school where others can come to live and learn and love (learn to live to love to live to learn to love to...) then there's no sticking around and working in a school, hospital, soup kitchen, or whatever that is going to help my people more than following my vision, in the words of TBJ, or following my bliss, if you prefer Campbell instead. I totally agree with the need for planting seeds, but on the wings of my unbridled dreams I will be the most effective tool for the dispersal of those seeds, not treading water in the sespool with the voluntarily handicapped. I know that sounds pretty offensive, but it's not meant to be. I am still one of the volunatariily handicapped of which I speak, so there truly is no condescension in what I say. I have accepted the role of slave for far too long, and it's time for the next act in this play, the one where I leap from the nest and pray that our mother has been telling me the truth all these long years, that there's a whole other world just waiting for us to explore. Flight is our birthright, and not to worry, there's plenty of work to do for our brothers and sisters back in the nest once we take flight. Just think.... who would feed all those baby birds if none were willing to turn there back on them and learn to fly for a time. Not to abandon them, but with every intention of returning with real sustenance, not just the lice we've gotten so used to picking from each other's backs.....



The following post is something that I wrote a while back that talks more of my idea about this conspiracy between me and the creator. I've been looking for the right time to post it, and (L) has shown me that now's the time.