Conspiring with the creator

just thought I'd throw this out there for you to get a better understanding of my perspective on life and why I never fall into the trap of "Well, I didn't ask to be born, god damn it!"-----------------------------------------------------------

I've gone so much further than so many that I know and even further than So and So, and so... this life still calls on me to go further. And so I sometimes get indignant about it, and one day I called out to my God and said, "Motherfucker, why will you not relent?! I do this, that, and at least half of the other thing, and still you'll give me no peace! Meanwhile my brothers go about their lives with little more than utter carelessness, sometimes even less, and yet you seem to have given them a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card! I stop to give thanks for blessings that they're not even aware of receiving and still I am beset on all sides by a struggle which ever vies for the better of me, my body and soul wrought with relentless challenges, while they stumble around utterly unscathed! Why hast thou forsaken me?"And in the kindest, most loving, infinitely gentle voice imaginable the reply came...

"Motherfucker, you asked for it."

"What?" I couldn't believe my ears.

"Yes, child. You dare to dream dreams that too many will never know, did not have the courage to choose. And I told you, before you were born, that you would come to doubt me. Don't you remember? Of course you don't, I told you that you wouldn't. I told you, while you begged me for the life that you now are living, that it wouldn't be as easy as you thought, to dream such beautiful dreams! But you wouldn't listen, and I love you for it. Ahhh, how you made me laugh with your brazen antics, thinking you'd swim through life as if it were the Dead Sea, eager to keep you afloat! You swore you'd never grow tired of it, secretly thinking that if by chance you did you'd simply lace your hands behind your head and float for a moment or four! And I insisted, 'Make no mistake, My Love, these dreams that you demand of me will demand much more of you.....' 'Yes, yes,' you interrupted, 'let's just get on with it, shall we? Lives are wasting! Hahaha!' And you laughed that especially contagious, beautifully irreverant, sublimely innocent, laughter (which, incidentally, I haven't heard from you for far too long) and we laughed and laughed together, rolling around the heavens, flooding the planets with our joyful tears while eons rolled by. And when our mirth receded in concert with the glaciers' retreat, you made me promise... really, you don't remember? You extracted a vow from me that no matter how hard it was for me, in all my all overly envied omnipotence, that I would wrap you in those special swaddling clothes, that shroud of unforeseeable circumstances, the one and only that would ensure the fruition of your most courageous, albeit, at times, seemingly masochistic, dreams. And now when I, rendered helpless by our pact, follow through as I swore I would, will you add to my torment by thinking that I have forgotten you? That I do not share in the suffering which I must unleash upon you? And do you think for one moment that you are the innocent victim of a sadistic plot that I have concocted as a consequence of my eternal boredom? It is you who have chosen to torment me! You have more choice than I, for you are free to do whatever you please and I am left filling in the blanks of your twisted Ad Libs life! I want nothing more for you than to see you fulfill the dreams that you made me believe in, such immaculate dreams that I, in all my glory, could never have conceived of, dreams that bring tears of rapture to my eyes even now when I think of them. And I swore to push you, to send cruel gale force winds toward you, and make the seas rise up in defiance of you if it were necessary to keep you on your path! And you should know, Child, that I add my tears, with a prayer and a kiss, to those storms whenever I am forced to send them crashing down upon you. Remember before you curse me, that it is you who have forced my hand. Know, too, that I love you without end, and I am forever grateful to you, for you have added to that which too many believe is untouchable and forever beyond them. Now go, and waste no more time thinking that you are some sort of helpless and abandoned pawn, a tiny ship tossed about by fickle fingered Fates. Only you have the freedom to be fickle. All the rest of Creation is bound by oaths made before words were even conceived, oaths made with boundless love for you and the faith that you would one day re-member us and free us from the unforgiving Forgetting Wind that now sweeps across the endless Plains of Time...."

+ Destroying Angel +